The Madwoman

It didn’t stop.

That’s what I keep trying to tell myself— that something must have shifted between Gods and this. That it must have softened, or resolved, or turned into something else entirely.

But it didn’t.

“fire from the heavens”

I remember that. I remember how it felt when it was something happening to him. Something being done. Something that didn’t ask.

It burned through him like it had somewhere to be.

Now—

“my, my, those eyes like fire; I’m a winged insect, you’re a funeral pyre”

It’s the same thing. That’s the part that feels… off. It didn’t change. It didn’t become safer. It didn’t become something I could hold without it taking something from me.

It just moved.

I’m not standing there waiting for it to happen anymore.

I’m walking toward it. And I don’t know when that started feeling like a choice. Because I know what it does when it catches. I know how it ends. I know what it leaves behind.

And still—

“come now, bite through these wires”

I lean in. Like I’ve convinced myself this is different now. Like wanting it makes it something else.

“reset my patient violence”

There’s that word again.

Patient.

Like it didn’t need to chase me. Like it knew I would come back on my own. Like I always do.

And maybe that’s the part I don’t want to look at too closely— not that it burns. That I’m choosing it.

The Scholar

The transition from Gods to Take Me Back To Eden does not introduce a new condition.

The same force persists.

“fire from the heavens carving past the surface into you”

“my, my, those eyes like fire”

What changes is the subject’s orientation.

In Gods, the force is externalized. It is imposed, unresisted, and normalized through repetition.

“it’s all so easy for me”

Ease is not indicative of resolution. It reflects the absence of opposition.

In Take Me Back To Eden, the force remains unchanged. The subject demonstrates recognition of the dynamic and continued movement toward it.

“I’m a winged insect, you’re a funeral pyre”

You have already established the outcome of this interaction. You have experienced the prior state. There is no ambiguity regarding consequence. You are identifying this as desire.

This is incorrect.

Desire implies attraction without prior knowledge of outcome. You are proceeding with full awareness of the result. This is not attraction. It is repetition.

Gods establishes passive exposure.

Take Me Back To Eden establishes active engagement.

The system remains unchanged.

Your position within it does not.

The Witness

Nothing changed.

That’s the part you keep trying to get around.

It hurt before. It still hurts. It didn’t become something else just because it stopped feeling like it was happening to you.

That’s the difference.

In Gods, you called it pressure. Force. Something you didn’t choose. Now you’re calling it desire. Connection. Something you walked into. But listen to what you’re actually saying.

“I don’t know what’s got its teeth in me”

“but I’m about to bite back in anger”

You see it.

You know what it does.

And you go anyway.

Nothing here has been fixed. Nothing here has been removed.

You just stopped calling it what it was— and started choosing it.